Well, I have been eating more.

When Jack was in my tummy, I called him "Jelly Bean", so I bought this shirt. Now that he's here, the shirt seems wrong since he's so huge. I wonder if they have one that says "Mommy's little butterball."

Nah. He'll always be my little jelly bean.

Laughin' Jack

Well, yesterday Jack laughed for the first time-- and thanks to technology and my husband, I'm able to share his 4th and 5th laughs with you. He hasn't gotten really good at it yet, but what he can do is pretty cute. (Don't mind my quacking.)

Silly snowmen. Once they come to life they don't know nothin'.

Baby mine, dry your eyes.

This scene made me cry before I had Jack, so I should probably avoid watching it now.

Jack es muy grande

14 lbs. 14 1/4 oz. & 25 inches long.

It turns out that Jack is in the 95 percentile for both weight and length. This means Jack is bigger than over 95% of babies his age. Andrew's right. He's kicking all the other babies butts. Well, except for that freakish 5%.

Jack had his 2 month appointment today. He had to get 4 shots-- and two of those shots were doubled up with two vaccinations-- so really he had 6 shots. Poor little guy. He cried, I cried, it was all very sad. But the good news is he's got some kickin' bandaids on his chubby little legs (Wile E. Coyote and Daffy Duck.) Also, today was a first for Jack-- he tasted something other than milk! Grape flavored Infant Tylenol. Mmmm! He did really well with it-- didn't spit it out or anything. He just swallowed it and sort of made this face like "what just happened?"

Here's another picture for your viewing pleasure:

What's the perfect gift for anyone on your Christmas list?

A Houston Garden Center gift card!! What? That's what the commercial says.

Well two nights ago, we finally decorated our Christmas tree. That is so unlike me. I'm usually a day-after-Thanksgiving-tree-putter-upper. Not this year. No sir. December 6th. I'm ashamed.

I thought this was kind of neat:






Both Jeremy and Jack's first Christmas ornaments. Neat! I also think it's neat that Jeremy and Jack are a quarter of a century apart.

In other news, I got a new cell phone and Jack outgrew most of his 0-3 month onesies.

Note: I may return my new phone because the camera sucks, and Jack isn't even two months old yet (picture is to show Jacks hugeness.)



And that was taken Thanksgiving weekend. I'm taking him to his two month appointment on Monday, and I'm curious to see if his doctor is shocked by how big he is. I'm sure she won't be, but I keep thinking she's going to think I'm adding steroids to his milk.

Grow, Jack, grow!

My new favorite picture

What's a Jack Butler?

Oh, about 12 an a half pounds.

That's right. Jack has become quite the little chunk. 12 1/2 pounds at 6 weeks.

Today is a big day for Jack-- his first road trip. We'll see how this goes.

Poopin' ain't easy.

Ah, young love.

Can't wait til Christmas

Game, Set, Flush.

Well, the toilet won. I thought my phone would conquer, but I was wrong. If you try and call my phone, I will not answer-- b/c even though I can hear you, you cannot hear me. The good news is I can still send pictures like this one:



Anyhow, I will be using Jeremy's phone until December, which is when I qualify for a free new phone. So if you want to reach me call Jeremy's phone. If you want to reach me, but don't know his number, then call my phone and leave a message. If you don't want to reach me, then bite me.

p.s. I really wanted to come up with some clever variant of the old "calling ralph" line as my subject for this post, but I couldn't think of anything. Oh man, that would have been so clever. Drat. I just wanted to let you all know that I wanted to be clever, and, if you ask me, wanting to be clever is pretty close to being clever.

I hear my baby, I gotta go.

If you don't know Jack, you don't know jack.

Well, as you may have heard, Jeremy and I are the proud parents of this kid.



His name is Jack. He is the best. EVER. (I gotta go ahead and say that he is the best baby now, before my future nieces/nephews arrive, so my brother and sister will still agree with me.) He's is perfect.

Jack's presence is bound to affect my blogging frequency, so I apologize in advance. I even failed to celebrate Hello Please's 2nd birthday, which happened to be the day before Jack's birthday. So, sorry, Hello Please. Anyhow, I'll try to forever continue to blog, but be warned that all future blogs may only consist of me posting pictures of Jack and me saying things like "Jack did the cutest thing..." I know I'm going to be one of those annoying moms who only talks about her kid all the time, but how could I not be with a kid like this. I mean, c'mon! Look at him!!

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Here comes my baby, here he comes now.

Doc: "Baby big."

Me: "How big?"

Doc: " 7 1/2 to 8 lbs."

Me: " Oh."

Doc: "Baby needs to come on out."

Me: "When?"

Doc: "Tuesday."

Me: "Oh, ok."


Monday night: inducement. Tuesday: baby.

Please, Lord, don't let my baby look like this.

This little piggy said "shnap, that hurt."

As I was walking behind Jeremy in Bed Bath & Beyond this evening, I stepped when he didn't and BAM. Little toenail to be breaking. I fear it won't be there for too much longer. I ask you, what kind of mother can I be with only 9 toenails?

I am a ticking time bomb

tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...

Jeremy and Amy: Homeowners

Yes, we own a house. Today I went to buy a mailbox for our house. I also bought the little numbers that go on the mailbox. When I got to the checkout, I dropped the numbers (as I usually do these days--whatever I'm holding.) Seeing my condition (being a full-term pregnant woman), and old lady behind me actually offered to pick up the numbers. What's sad is that I was actually relieved and willing to let her pick up the numbers. An old woman! I'm supposed to be picking up HER numbers. I'm still quite happy being pregnant, but the past week I have started feeling quite useless. We've been moving into our house and I can't help move anything, bending over is a ridiculously hard task, and my feet look and feel like they are going to explode at the end of every day. I want the little guy to stay in my belly for at two more weeks so I can get his home ready, but at the same time I want to have my old, functional body back again. Ahhh. That will be nice.

On a stranger note, I saw a chicken in the wal-mart parking lot yesterday morning. You don't believe me? I took a picture b/c I thought you might not believe me.



I also saw a cat in Lowes.

"There are guys in the background of Mary Worth comics that are more important than me."

Nothing says "you're a big loser" than getting your head cut out of a picture. Whoever took this picture found it very important to get Andrea's right knee and left shoe in the picture, but NOOOO, who cares about Amy's head? Not a smile, not a chin. Nothing. Just my lanky 13 year old body. Thanks a lot.

(An 11 year grudge. Nice.)

You'll have to speak up, my phone's in the toilet.

I know that it generally isn't a good idea to talk on the phone while you're in the restroom, but in my defense, I wasn't talking... I was just looking at something on my phone... while I was peeing. Not a crime. I'm sure lots of well respected people have done it before. Don't act like you haven't. (You haven't?! D'oh.) Well, I have-- and for the last time, as of yesterday (well, hopefully the last time.)

I dropped my phone into the toilet. I really wish I had photographic evidence of this for my blog, but, well, my camera phone was in the toilet. What's even more amazing than a grown adult dropping her phone in the toilet is the fact that it still works. I can barely hear it when it rings*, but it still works. You know, Samsung should really use my story as a testimonial to how durable their phones are. I have dropped that phone more times than I can count, and now it has been in the crapper, and it STILL works. Maybe Sprint could even advertise it as the "Pee CS phone." (I kill my head.)

Remember: Think twice before you ask to borrow Amy's cell phone, because you DO know where it has been.

Sorry about the grossness of this blog.

*I can now hear it completely fine when it rings.

God bless you, Yahoo.

So, Yahoo finally listened to me and changed there blasted log in page. Now it is a new face everytime. Now everytime I log into my yahoo account, it's like opening a different present.

YAHOO!!!!

This is why we can't have nice things!

I'm a klutz. I was a klutz pre-pregnancy, but now, nothing is safe.

FeverAll Suppositories:

Poor kid.

The darndest thing

Well, this morning was the first time that I have ever been able to truthfully say "there is a small person inside of my tummy-- and he's hiccuping."

Babies get hiccups inside the womb. Truly bizarre. It seems weird to me that this is possible, what, with all the fluid he's floating around in, but it is indeed true. If you don't believe me, ask my thumpin' belly.

I read something about hiccups the other day that will help all of you relax. When babies get hiccups (inside or outside of the womb), it doesn't bother them! It's not like us-- the ones taking any kind of hiccup advice we can get (stand on your head, pull your ears, wiggle your toes.) No, babies don't hate it like we do. So next time you see a baby hiccuping, follow your instinct and go "Awwwww!" (I would post a picture of a baby hiccuping, but I can't find one.)

Hiccup.

Hiccup.

Hicc..

Can't...blog...reading...

This is indeed a disturbing universe.

Hmm. Are my husand and my brother in love with each other? (Is there hand-holding going on in this picture?)

The kids can call you "HoJu"

The other day I bought this book from Target. It is very strange. There is a portion of this book called: "230 Fun lists." Some of the lists are understandable (ex. "Names that Get Shortened", "Derived from Literature", "Names Teachers Can't Pronounce" and "Names That Spawn Nasty Nicknames"), but some of these lists are just plain out there. I really wanted you guys to be included in the awesomeness that is this book, so I'm including some of the strange/hilarious lists and names. Enjoy.

(Boy, Girl, Boy or Girl)

Names for Vegetarians
Names that are SO Over (sorry, Jason)
Bad-to-the-Bone, Death Row Names: Timothy (McVeigh), Ted (Bundy)...
Nerd/Dork/Wallflower Names : Engelbert, Gomer
Patriotic Names: America, Eagle, Flag, Free, Patriot, Sailor, Salute
Names for the Handsome and Beautiful
Macho Men: Bucko, Butch, Zoom(?)
Make your Baby Popular
World's Strangest Names: Pity, Swell, Zap (ooh, Zap Butler...)
Wimpy Names: Bobo, Brownie, Fuddy
Girlie-Girl Names: Bubbles, Bunny, Cinnamon, Cookie, Princess, Sugar, Deedee ("Deedee! I told you not to touch it!!")
Famous Mob Names
Names That Make You Smile: Bitsie, Boots, Buffalo, Fluffy (hehe, Fluffy), Galaxy, Snooks, Tweetie
Future Truck Drivers: Butch, Joe-Eddy, Flo, Nerline
Future Televangelists
Future Crooked Politicians
Future Mechanics: Rusty, Chubby
Future Mortitians: Stone, Blackie, Dyer, Coffin, Morticia
Names that Make You Feel Weird: Fashion, Vixen, Bloo, Car, Sweetpea, Precious, Delete, Welcome
Scary/Creepy Names: Brick, Bruno, Butcher, Delete, Dweezil, Beatrix (Aaaauugh!!), Nunu, Swoosie
Season/Weather Names: Cloudy, Frosty, Rainbow, Equinox, Typhoon
Hyper Kids: Rambabu, Grasshopper

Small Shoulders

Jeremy and I have received about 8 outfits for the baby already, and I just realized the other day that I had nothing to hang them up with. Then I realized something: I never realized baby hangers existed. BABY HANGERS! They're just like big people hangers except... smaller. I mean, what will they think of next?

Sometimes it is really hard not to end a sentence with a preposition.

Sometimes it is easy to say "soldiers" when you mean to say "shoulders".

Sometimes it is hard not to make your blog pointless.

I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you...

I was reading "The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" the other day (nevermind where I was,) and I came across a little fact: "Most all boys will grow to be taller than their mothers.*" I never even considered that my son would be taller than me. I mean, when I imagined him being older, I would imagine another version of Jeremy. When I told Jeremy this little fact he said "yeah, i know" real nonchalant like. I was like "um, does that bother you-- that your son might be taller than you?" He said "no! That's why I married you" (insert slanted smiley face here.)

*And yes, I know that this stat doesn't really mean anything to me since "most" husbands are taller than their wives.

Latricia's not here, man.

I received the following phone call the other day:

Telemarketer: "Hi, is Latricia there?"
Me: "This is no longer Latricia's phone number."
Telemarketer: "Can I leave her a message?"
Me: "This is not Latricia's number. I don't even know a Latricia."
Telemarketer: "OK, I'll call back later (hangs up)."
Me: "Latricia doesn't live here!! (I look at the phone wondering what has just happened.)

Thanks for listening, man.

The Butler Name Will Live On...

It is SO a boy!

"Now, let's see if we can't figure out what you are, my little friend"

Today is the big day. We shall find out more specifically what our little Jelly Bean is. We're hoping for a masculine outcome, but if it is a girl, I'll be happy too because- hey, there go all possibilities of naming her Rutler.

Note: That is absolutely the first time I've ever quoted Star Wars (except maybe for a few cleverly annoying JarJar references.) Don't blame Jeremy: blame the Star Wars Kid.

In case you were unable to load the trailer from my last post, here is a different link.

The reason I am so intense about penguins is they are so intensely cute.

Do not feel sad. It is all right. Many things cannot fly.

For many years, I have considered the duck my favorite animal. Ducks are so hilarious to me, what with the waddling and the quacking and the dabbling underwater with their feet sticking out.

However, while Jeremy and I were in Chicago last week, I discovered my new favorite animal.

Exhibit A

En Garde!

I just learned after all these years that when I thought people were saying "on guard!" they were really saying "en garde!" It's not even really that important, you know, because on guard is the English translation of en garde, and in the end they both sound the same.

It's just that I feel so disillusioned.

Oh well.

PJ? I like that! You know I do! Hiss, put it on my luggage.

I like buying men's pajama pants because all of the women's pajama pants are too short for me. The other day I found some pj pants in the guys section that really had no right being there. Cute for a girl and really gay for a boy(see gay color swatch).




I bought them because I liked them, and also because I didn't want a man buying them. Jeremy's probably getting sick of seeing these pants because currently, they are the only pants that are comfortable for me to wear with my new magical expanding stomach. I'm at the the most awkward phase of pregnancy. Not looking pregnant but not being able to fit into my clothes.

"IT STINKS!"

I've been having my first true pregnancy craving. It's really quite unfair that my first craving had to be for a smoothie that I can only get in College Station... at A&M. The next thing I know I'll be craving Dinks in Bartlesville. Mmmmm....Dinks.

D'OH!

Go away.

I'm sicking of seeing this face everytime I log into my Yahoo mail.

The trees are stripped bare of all they wear, What do I care.

Well, tickets for the Houston U2 concert in October went on sale Saturday. The concert is on the 28th, which is two weeks and three days after our baby's due date. Clearly, I cannot go. At first I didn't care. Jeremy and I are going to the Chicago concert in May, so I was pretty happy that I get to go to at least one. The thing is-- Jeremy and I have seat tickets for Chicago, but for Houston, Jeremy wanted to get floor tickets so that he could get up nice and close. Well, on Saturday, Jeremy went to stand in line at Randalls in Spring to try and get tickets, and he had me stay at home and try and get tickets online. Surprisingly enough, we were both able to get general admission tickets for the concert. Completely forgetting that I wasn't gonna get to go, I go so excited that we actually got tickets... and then I realized... oh yeah. So, Jeremy, Andrew, Trent and Jenna get to go instead. I know that by then I'll have a baby and I won't care about the concert as much, but for now I'm a little depressed. Jeremy and I were talking about it and we decided that instead of holding the whole "I was in labor for ____ hours with you!!!" over our kid's head, I will be able to hold the whole "you made me miss a U2 concert!!!" thing over his head. It will be great. Is it healthy that I'm already thinking of ways to make my kid feel guilty? Probably not, but it helps me pass the time.

"We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter."

Man, I am SO pregnant.

It's been pretty weird for both me and Jeremy because it still seems very abstract. I mean, I haven't been to the doctor yet, and it will be two more weeks until we get to see the first ultrasound (but amazingly enough I believe we will be able to hear the baby's heart beat at that first appointment. Un-be-lievable.) But until then, all we have to remind us that I am pregnant are annoying, but welcome pregnancy symptoms. The feeling I get several times a day that I need to eat or I'll hurl. The fatigue I feel after doing something as easy as washing dishes. The craziness (last night I almost put this

on my toothbrush instead of this

The emotions (weeping like a baby after the "Say Something" episode because Luke and Lorelai broke up-- which, to be honest, would have made me cry anyway, but normally would have produced only a few tears.)

And ALWAYS with the PEEING!!

Anyhow, I am pregnant and although I really don't feel so great most of the day, it's really the most amazing thing that has every happened to me. To think that God is using me as an instrument to create a person...

Here's what Parenting.com says about my baby this week:

"If you could see your baby now, you'd be able to make out her eyelids, the tip of her nose, and her upper lip. She's approximately three-quarters of an inch long from top to bottom, and her brain, spinal cord, heart, kidneys, liver, and stomach have begun to take shape. The aortic and pulmonary valves are distinctly present in the heart, which has now divided into right and left chambers and gallops at twice your rate (about 150 times a minute). She has distinct, slightly webbed fingers and toes and see-through skin."

(Boy, Lucy. That's amazing.)

So, everyday I am reminded constantly of a miracle occuring in my body.

Thought you ought to know.

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.

When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.

The fairer sex, but not the fairest

I don't understand. How is it that women can complain about men leaving the toilet seat up, but guys can't get upset about women not putting the toilet seat up when they're through using the restroom? I mean, it's bad enough that men have to touch the toilet seat to lift it and then have to touch it again to put it back down. Men, I insist that you start complaining about the inconsideration of woman. It's your turn to condescendingly say "Is it really that hard to lift the seat back up? Hmmmm??"

On my tombstone I want it to read " Amy hit the atmosphere, she caught herself a rocket ride out of this gutter."

Mustard? Don't let's be silly.

Oh, cruel fate!

Some girls look really pretty when they sleep.





And then there's me.