Something wicked this way comes.

Something scary happened to me as I was getting a drink at the gas station. Well, you know how behind the drinks, there's a room where the employees go to refill the drinks? Well, right as I was grabbing a Dr. Pepper, a man, apparently lifting a HEAVY drink case, made a loud grunt. Since I didn't know anyone was back there doing such things, it sounded a lot like growl from a monster or something. Yeah. It scared me and I shut the door quickly. That is all.

C is for Cookie.

I bought a cookie from Great American Cookies today, and I just happened to read the back of the bag, and man, oh man, they are WAY too intense about their cookies. Observe:

"We know you're getting ready to smile, because you're about to have a lot of fun eating this cookie."

I don't mind saying I had minimal fun eating that cookie. It was delicious but... "a lot of fun?"

"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better try the emergency brake!"

uoY yam evah deciton taht m'I ton lla ereht flesym...

I saw tsuj gnittis ta ym ksed dna I detrats gnirednow woh drah ti dluow eb ot epyt gnihtemos sdrawkcab. ylgnisirpruS hguone, I dnuof ti rehtar ysae. nehT I tog ot sdrow ekil "ylgnisirprus", chihw I dnuof etiuq drah ot epyt. tI yam mees egnarts ot uoy taht I dluow neve tis ereh dna epyt sdrawkcab rof on tnerappa nosaer, tub I llet uoy, I ma os derob ereh ta krow dna I erugif taht neve fi I od gnihtemos taht smees yzarc, ti si yllaer gnipleh em peek ym ytinas. m'I gnitrats ot kniht taht siht is lacisnesnon dna I dluohs pots. m'I osla gnitrats ot kniht taht I t'nod esu hguone semordnilap ni ym yreve yad yralubacov. ll'I won yas doog yad ot uoy, ris.

It reminded me of Robin Hood...

...And the part where Little John jumped from the rocks to the Sheriff of Nottingham's back, and then Robin and everyone swung from the trees in a sudden surprise attack, and they captured the Sheriff and all of his goods and they carried him back to the camp in the woods and the Sheriff was guest at the dinner and all but he wriggled away and he sounded the call and his men rushed and the arrows flew... Peter Rabbit did sorta that kind of thing too.

His name is Minky Boodle.

Man, I am in a GOOD mood. It is only 3:18 and we are closin' up early today! Whoohoo! So that is over an hour and half that I get paid for, but don't have to sit in this stinky, cold office. Sweet.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to post "Merriam-Webster Online"'s word of the day. The word is:

flapdoodle • \FLAP-doo-dul\ • noun
: nonsense

Example sentence:
"That whole business with the gypsy fortune-teller was just a lot of fabricated flapdoodle," snorted General Rumsey, "and you shouldn't believe a word of it."

There is no reason that each and everyone of you shouldn't use this word from now on, as much as you can. I challenge you to add this to your daily vocabulary, and maybe you can use it next time you see me. Besides, it's not only fun: it's educational.

Please don't kill me, Freaky Jason.

It's Friday the 13th!!!! AUGGGHH!!!

Well, I be done seen about everything, when I've seen an elephant fly.

Whoa! It's SLEETING outside! That's kind of like snow, right? RIGHT? Well, we will say it's snow. So, it's snowing outside. Gosh, don't you just sometimes feel like it's never going to stop SNOWING?! And don't even get me started about all the snow plows on the road. Goooood grief! I mean, what is this? Miami Beach?! Not hardly.

When I'm trying to wake up in the morning, my will power and common sense are not the best of friends.

"She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen."

Sweet. My boss gave me this yesterday. I really feel that I'm moving up in the company.

Let's all go to Boldlygo.

Oh yeah... this isn't a song lyric, but I always heard it wrong. I used to watch the old Star Trek's (Oh, bite me. That show rocks.) Anyhow, as a kid when I heard "to boldly go where no man has gone before..." I always thought "Bodlygo" was a place they were trying to go (you know, they were traveling in space all the time, they must be trying to get somewhere.) Anyhow... I hadn't seen Star Trek in quite sometime, so I hadn't had a chance to use my advanced adult intellect to figure it out--- until last year. My sister said that line for some reason, and I was all "OH MY GOSH!" So I told her and she had a good laugh. The end.

Excuse Me While I Kiss the Sky.

I found a website that is an archive for misheard song lyrics... it's called "Kiss This Guy". Well, after reading some of these, I felt inspired to share with you all a few lyrics I have misheard over the years.

The Patty Duke Show theme song: Some of you may not even know this song, but I used to watch this show a lot as a child.
What I heard: One pair of matching booklets, different as night and day.
Reality: One pair of matching bookends.

Counting Crows "Perfect Blue Buildings."
What I heard: Sleeping perfect blue buildings
Reality: Asleep in perfect blue buildings.
--- I had emailed Jeremy and "Sleeping blue buildings" was my subject title, and in the body of the email I said "That song makes no sense. "

Blind Melon "No Rain"
What I heard: "All I can do is just pull some teeth or two."
Reality: "All I can do is just pour some tea for two."

There are plenty more where that came from. I don't understand how my brain works. If I really thought about it I would be like "that doesn't make any sense" and I might try to figure out what it really says. But I just sing those wrong lyrics as loud as I can.

Here's Sprite in your Eye.

If you think I have nothing better to do than to tell you about me loading the coke machine, then, well sir, you're wrong. So... as I was loading the coke machine, I had a couple of "incidents." Before I tell you what happened, I must describe a few things about the coke machine. Well, you all know of the big door you have to open to get into the coke machine. Well, after you open that door, there is a swinging gate like thing guarding the cokes to prevent them from jamming the machine. Anyhow, I had this gate open and was grabbing one of the packs of Diet Dr. Pepper (blegh)-- and i accidentally hit the edge of the gate and cut my thumb. It hurt and bled a little, but I persevered. I then proceeded to grab a pack of Sprite and all of a sudden Sprite started squirting everywhere (apparently, I had knocked one of the Sprite cans into the sharp edge of the gate.) It first sprayed directly into my eye, causing me to yell "SHNAP!!!" Then, blinded by the Sprite, I continued to hold the pack in my hand, allowing Sprite to spray in every direction. I then had to clean off all the cans and then clean the floor. So, this morning didn't start out so hot. I'm guessing it can only get better. Here's hopin'.

Well, it's Groundhog Day..... again.

This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off, waiting to worship a rat. You know, Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites. All a ya.