My evil plots are so unused and wasted.

As you well know or may have guessed, my Christmas gift to my grandmother (known to most as "Meemaw" and to some as "Cheetah Juanita") is a life-size cardboard cutout of our president (I'm typing this with the confidence that Meemaw will not somehow gain access to the internet before Christmas, and if she does that she will not stumble across Hello Please.) I made the purchase on Saturday, and decided to get as much use out of it as possible before having to hand it over to the old broad. Yesterday I got Cardboard George out of the trunk of my car, folded him out, walk up to the door of my apartment, knocked on the door, put Cardboard George in front of the door, and moved to the side. I think I really freaked Jeremy out (success!!) Then we moved him into the living room while we watched a movie (of course we turned Cardboard George so he could watch the movie as well.) After the movie, Jeremy went to the bathroom, returned and on seeing Cardboard George was startled once again. He then decided Cardboard George must lay flat on the guest bed, so that he would not make Jeremy wet his pants when he wakes up in the morning and goes into the living room. Now I am tempted to place Cardboard George in places that would really freak Jeremy out: in our entrance way for when he comes home, outside of the bathroom door for when he gets through going potty, on his side of the bed when he wakes up... Oh the possibilities! But I definitely have reservations about doing this. The first and obvious one being that he can do the same thing to me and it would scare the froop out of me. The second one being that it is indeed Christmas time-- and I gotta be good. Blast.

I love making up words like "froop".

I also love Christmas music; however, I left my Christmas CDs in Andrea's car, so I am forced to listen to "Sunny, 99.1 FM-- playing constant Christmas music until Christmas night!" The downside of this is that I sometimes have to be subjected to Christmas renditions that should not exist, such as Elton John's "White Christmas" and John Mellencamp's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause" (shudder.)