"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."

The more I think about it, the more I appreciate the equator.

Well, Happy New Year, everyone. Just think. Tomorrow you will be writing -04 on everything instead of -03. It's odd b/c it doesn't seem at all strange to me that tomorrow will be 2004. Usually it's seems like a huge deal. "Oh my gosh! Can you believe it's 1995?" [For some reason I remember the 1995 New Year pretty well. Who knows why.] But then I lived through the mother of all New Years. Y2K, baby. I mean, not only was it the turn of the century (and millions of people had begun storing up for.... whatever,) but it was a new millennium. We went from having to change the last two digits of our date, to changing the last FOUR digits. After living through that, it's amazing I even celebrate New Years.

Well, I'm going to Tyler this weekend, so I guess this is it until next Monday. All of us here at Hello Please, by which I mean myself, wish you and yours a very safe and pleasant New Year, and may all your New Year resolutions be attainable.

Amy's New Year Resolutions:

1. Come back to College Station
2. Write more blogs
3. Write more interesting blogs.
4. Write Thank You notes for my wedding presents (d'oh!)
5. Have a child [just kidding, Jeremy. Or am I?]

P.S. If you only see one film the rest of your life it should be "Jungle to Jungle". But if you see two, then the second one should be "Return of the King."

"Pffffffffffffffffffff...."

All right, Jeremy. You're through with finals. You're no longer excused from blogging. I need something to read. I want something to read. I need something to REEEEEAAD! (Vague Soul Asylum reference. I hope you can all appreciate that.)

Smootwootfus.

Back in the day (when all we had were wood-burning cats), my friend Sara had put some baby breath on her rearview mirror, and we decided that would make a good country song. The song would go a little something like this: "Baby breath, on my rearview mirr-or." Sometime, if you're curious, and I don' t know why you would be... ask me to sing a bar to you. It will have to be short, as that's the only part of the song we came up with. [Dang, I ended that last sentence with a preposition. Mrs. Crabbe would be so disappointed.] Ooh! Another thing that reminds me of Sara: one time we were at my house and we saw this pill box (you know the ones that have a different slot for each day of the week: SMTWTFS........Anyhow, I saw it and I read it as Smootwootfus. It's really quite fun. I think we should all refer to our weeks as "Smootwootfus's." I guess if it were plural we could say "Smoothwootfi." Observe.

"Man, this has been the LONGEST smootwootfus ever. "

or

"Ooh, only two smootwootfi till 2004!"

You may be asking yourself "why would we use such a long word in place of a word that is already very short?"

The answer: I don't know.

Well, it sure looks like "cho" to me, Professor.

Hello, everyone. Does my tan frighten you? Perhaps, it should. What you're looking at is the tan of the future, unless America changes it ways. When I look at a knockout babe like Dyan Cannon, and I see the ravages that ozone depletion has wrought on her leathery, flaking skin, I think, "My God, what have these fools done?" For those of my generation - for John Derek, for Bob Guccione - it may be too late. But who will speak for the Rob Lowes? For the Chad Lowes? For the Lorenzo Lamas'? Or the two Coreys? What kind of tan can they expect? Certainly not a healthy, golden tan. Not even a tawny bronze. The best they can hope for is a light cocoa. Think about that this Christmas.

You can't fire me, I quit!

Oh. No, I'm not quitting. Hermey is. Because he wants to be a dentist. A DENTIST????!!!

Ahem.

Criminetly, Trigger. It's supposed to rain tonight and it has gotten real dark real fast. I'ts actually pretty scary. It's only 4:30 but it looks like it's 6:00.

If you think I'm going to write anything interesting in this blog, you really couldn't be more wrong.

Oh man. It's raining hard out there now.

I had something interesting to tell you, but I like how lame this blog is turning out. Let's not spoil it. G'night!

Whatchoo talkin' about, Willis?

Have you guys seen The Tracy Morgan Show? On the show, Tracy Moran has two sons, and Jeremy pointed out that the oldest one is that kid from the Mrs. Baird's commercial. You know: "I love Mrs. Baird's.... bread." Yeah, so he was like the cutest kid. That commercial used to kill me. Well, now he's not the cutest. His little brother on the Tracy Morgan Show is. And you know, it made me feel kind of sad. In real life, kids have enough issues with being the cutest, and then growing out of it and having younger siblings who take that spotlight. For kids in show biz, the whole world thinks they're adorable, but then, of course, they grow out of it and they find a new kid to obsess about.

Take little "Rudy Huxtable" for example. Wasn't she the cutest?! Well, I thought she was until "Olivia" came along, beating out Rudy's cuteness by a landslide. So Rudy faded away from our memories as the cutest girl on the Cosby Show. Now we have "Olivia." Gosh, she was the CUTEST. Before recent years, we hadn't seen her since the early 90's. Now she has her "own" show, and, well, not to be mean but, she's not so cute anymore. Call me naive, but I thought she would be cute forever. But no. Another example would the Culkin kids [don't get me started!] Anyhow, the point is... I've forgotten my point. Something about how sad it is when kids grow out of being cute. You know who hasn't had to deal with that? Gary Coleman. He was cute in Different Strokes, and he's cute now.

Most disturbing rendition of O Holy Night: Mariah Carey (unless there is a Britany Spears version out there that I don't know about.)

Aggies, and their mothers who marry them.

As we were pulling out of the Black-Eye Pea, Jeremy and I saw a suburban with two A&M stickers on it: "An Aggie's Mom," and "An Aggie's Wife." Jeremy pointed out that they should also have a sticker that reads: "I married my son." Just thought that was pretty funny.

Anyhow....

On some Monday's, I have the great job of filling up the coke machine. Neat, huh? It's so much fun that it hurts. Well, today they decided to change it up, so they took out Vanilla Coke, and replaced it with lemonade and replaced Barq's Root Beer with Diet Dr. Pepper (blegh.) I'm actually glad we have lemonade now, but they got rid of Vanilla Coke instead of Sprite Remix? Whaaaa? Ugh. That's frustrating enough, but to replace Barq's with Diet Dr. Pepper? Now that's a shame. Diet Dr. Pepper is the most depressing drink there is because it give you a small glimpse of what Dr. Pepper should taste like, so the whole time you are drinking it you are just like "I WANT A DR. PEPPER!!" and you get all irate and start screaming at the people in your office. Conclusion: Diet D.P. = no good. I would like to say, however, that they at least got one thing right and allotted two slots to Dr. Pepper. Kudos, Hanover.

Friday I'm in love.

Ah, yes. The end of the week has finally come, my friends. "Praise the Lord, and pass the tax rebate." I don't really have anything to blog about. Just wanted to say "hi" and remind you that it's Friday. "Aaaaaaaaaah.... FREAK OUT!"

Let's just hope that my darling husband never comes to this.

Welcome Christmas, bring your cheer,
Cheer to all Who's far and near.
Chritmas day is in our grasp,
So long as we have hands to clasp.
Christmas day will always be,
Just as long as we have we.
Welcome Christmas, while we stand,
Heart to heart, and hand in hand.

Hip hop to the blog spot.

That was a quote from my sister. I saw her this weekend and I had said something about my blog, and she said "I hear blogspots are pretty popular these days." I kind of laughed and was like "oh, is that the word on the street?" She said "Heck yeah. I'm hip hop to the blog spot." Anyhow, I thought it was humorous and thought you might enjoy it to.

Dang. That holiday break just wasn't long enough. I had a good break though. We spent Thanksgiving with Jeremy's family. It was kind of strange for me b/c it was my first Thanksgiving away from my family. However, it was pretty sweet actually getting to be with Jeremy on a holiday. It makes me even more excited for Christmas b/c I get to share it with him. This will be our 6th Christmas as a "couple" and it's about time I spent Christmas morning with him.

After Thanksgiving we came home for the A&M game. Seeing as how my husband will read this blog, I will not recount any details of that game, except maybe that it was way cold. Yeah. That's it. So the next day I went with Andrea to First Monday. Yeah, I know that sounds like an old lady thing to do, but Andrea and I love Canton. It's tradition for us to go once a year. Well, it was until last year. We hadn't made plans to go to Canton yet and Andrea had left her daily planner in my car. Jeremy and I were driving and I was like "Oooh!! Andrea left her planner in the car! We can keep track of her. Let's see what she's doing today, shall we? I opened it up and Bam: "Sunday: First Monday with T.C." WHAAAAAAAA??!!! Oh man. You better believe I gave her the ol' what for. Anyhow, I forgave (but clearly didn't forget) and we restarted our tradition this year.