The fairer sex, but not the fairest

I don't understand. How is it that women can complain about men leaving the toilet seat up, but guys can't get upset about women not putting the toilet seat up when they're through using the restroom? I mean, it's bad enough that men have to touch the toilet seat to lift it and then have to touch it again to put it back down. Men, I insist that you start complaining about the inconsideration of woman. It's your turn to condescendingly say "Is it really that hard to lift the seat back up? Hmmmm??"

On my tombstone I want it to read " Amy hit the atmosphere, she caught herself a rocket ride out of this gutter."

Mustard? Don't let's be silly.

Oh, cruel fate!

Some girls look really pretty when they sleep.





And then there's me.