Happy Christmas, Henri.

He's just so happy it's Christmas time.

The finest farewell there ever was.

Something amazing.

Hello please. As you may have noticed, there has been somewhat of a draught in my blogging. I'll just be honest with you. I only want to write what I feel someone else will want to read. Like a blog about what I drink every single morning or a blog about toads crossing a busy highway (AUGHHHH!!)* But I have not been feeling inspired lately, or "blogspired", if you will.

I'm in a blog slump.
a frog grump.
a dog rump.


(* a little Ernest allusion for my siblings)

Lootin' always be a good time.

Jeremy and I went out to eat tonight. We ate at Pappasitos.



Their salsa wasn't very good.



However, if you look closely, toward the top right, you will see a little man in my salsa. He's screaming.



About these chips, Jeremy said "these taste like a movie theater. " I tasted them expecting him to be crazy, but it was true. These chips tasted like a movie theater.



I got Flautas. They were good.



Jeremy got beef enchiladas.



He did not think they were so good.



We both had Dr. Pepper to drink.



It was quite good.



We had to put salt down to let our Dr. Pepper's know who was boss.



I had refried beans, and Jeremy had black beans. At one point he attempted to steal my beans.



So, I made him pay for supper.



Saul was our waiter.



I wanted to take Saul's picture, but Jeremy said I was going overboard.

Anyhow, this is what he looked like.

Common Potatoes.

Ducks are funny. They waddle. They quack. They have two legs with webbed feet. There are few things that make me happier than seeing a duck upside down in the water. Cat's are funny too, but in a different way. Actually, I don't know why cat's are funny. Somewhere along the way, Andrew made them funny for me.

Roaches are not funny. I hate to be one of those girly girls who can't handle killing insects on her own, but I suppose I am. Late last night, long after Jeremy fell asleep, I went into the kitchen to get some water. Then I saw him. Not Jeremy, a roach. My desire to ingore him and not have to kill him myself was strong, but my desire to not have a roach in my kitchen was even stronger. I grabbed some roach spray and did my thing. I was completely terrified, I squealed the whole time, but I did it. Then the worst part: picking it up. Glugch. (That was his name.) I grabbed a bunch of napkins, picked him up and dumped him in the trashcan. Then I went to bed and for ten minutes had the creeping suspicion that a roach was going to crawl up my leg. Well, I know I was pretty girly about it, but I killed that roach. I'm not girly about lizards and spiders, so there! (I've decided to end all my blogs with "so there." So there!)

My Bloody Valentine.

This is a screen shot from MY favorite Itchy & Scratchy episode. Drew think's it's second best, but I disagree.

It's Valentine's Day, and Scratchy has given Itchy a Valentine shaped like a heart that says "I love you." Itchy is touched, but feels bad because he did not have a card to give Scratchy. So, logically, Itchy rips Scratchy's heart out and gives it to him. Scratchy is touched! He takes his heart home and sets it atop a shelf and looks at it lovingly. Then Scratchy sits down and reads the paper. After reading the headline, he screams and frantically tries to grab his heart off the shelf, but it's too late.

So there.

Happy Birthday, Hello Please!

Yes, you heard right. Today Hello Please is 1 year old!

In that 1 year, Hello Please as accumulated 93 blogs. 93! Count 'em!

Today I ask that you all honor Hello Please by following your sentences with "please."

Observe:

"Hello, please."

"How are you, please?"

"Go away, please."

Do you think you guys can manage that?

Thank you, please.





First blog EVER:

Oct. 10, 2003

"Plastic pearls?? Whaaaat????"

Oh Snap!

Jeremy is in bed, so that means I am up all by myself. It's quite sad, really. I don't want to go to bed because it's only 11:32. I was trying to think of something to post. Then I decided I would measure my arm span-- fingertip to fingertip. Then something bad happened. I accidentally let go of the measuring tape, and it sped back to the base and slit my finger on the way. I post this picture as proof. You can see it, there, on my ring finger, just below the middle of the finger. That has never happened to me and I hope it never happens again. So I am going to try again. I have decided that I cannot do it alone. I must wake up Jeremy. He grunts and I take it as "go away". I guess you'll have to live without knowing my armspan. I can tell you how long my leg is though. It's about 43 inches from the bottom of my foot to my hip!!!! Whoa!

Grace, thy name is Amy.

I'm starting to notice that my clumsiness isn't decreasing as I get older. I had hoped that it would, but if anything, it has increased. I have never really seen myself as a clumsy girl, but it seems that every day I get scratched or bruised because of my carelessness. Someday, I hope to get pregnant, and I'm starting to get a little nervous for my future child as he/she abides in my womb. I guess the reason I am so scared about this is because...hey, i've had these long arms for a long time, and I am constantly scraping them on tables, counters and bookshelves. When I get pregnant, I will have a large ball of baby up front. ! . Maybe I should get some sort of body armor when I get pregnant?

By the way, as a testiment to my clumsiness, I was discussing this matter with Hannah at McAlister's Deli. I said "Hannah, I'm just so clumsy!" and as I said "clumsy," (I was talking with my hands, apparently) I knocked the table number off the table.

Photographic proof for September 17th blog.

Leapin' lizards!

You know those moments in life where you feel like you should do something, you hesitate, the moment is gone, and you regret your decision for the rest of your life? Well, I do.

Today, I was in my car talking to Jeremy. I parked and I noticed a small green lizard on my windshield wiper. My first thought was "Oh man!! I could totally make that little guy fly!" But I was too taken in by him. I couldn't stop watching him, sitting perfectly still, his tiny ribs showing with each small breath. He sat there for about a minute, and I just sat there watching him. My hand was on the windshield wiper switch. But I didn't do it.

Moral: Don't let life pass you by. When you see an opportunity, seize it. For the love of mercy!!! Seize it!!!

Vera said that? Hmm.

The most random of songs popped into my head this evening: the Isle of Capri Casino jingle. I started singing it and was like "?". It actually brought up an interesting question. Was it:

I love, I love, the Isle of Capri Casino...

or was it:

Isle of, Isle of, the Isle of Capri Casino.

Jeremy thought it was the latter, but I disagree. What do you think? (And don't act like you don't remember that jingle. It used to be all the latest rage.)

It's gettin' gnatsy up in here.

But seriously... there are gnats in my house. I left the house for a few days last week, the trash did not get taken out, and now there are gnats in my house. I'm not one to point the finger of blame, but...

Observe how healthily, how calmly I can tell you the whole story.

I washed a lot of clothes yesterday. I did not fold them. Instead, I threw them in a pile on our newly purchased papasan. I am leaving for College Station in just a couple of hours. In that time I need to take a shower... and fold those clothes. For a while I just stared at the clothes thinking "I need to fold those clothes," but I decided I didn't want to, so I came in here to occupy my time in a different way. As I sit down to check my email, in my peripheral, I see it: The pile of clothes (the papasan being in my direct vision from the computer desk.) I sit here and type this blog, thinking the pile can wait. But still I can see it. I try to keep my eyes straight, but I can still see it. Why won't it just leave me alone?! It seems to be getting larger. I shut the door. Surely that will take the pile far from my mind. But no. Even as I sit here typing, the pile is always on my mind. I can think of nothing else. I know what must be done, and I must do it. I must burn the clothes.

I'm lovin' it.

A couple of days ago, I was eating breakfast with my brothers at a McDonalds in Longview. We were sitting by a window facing the playground and there were these two little black boys playing on the playground-- I'd guess one was about 7 and the other about 5. Well as I was talking with my brothers, Andrew looked out the window and goes "whoa!!" Well, you know how most (maybe all) McDonalds have a statue of Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench by the playground? Well, the younger kid was sitting next to Ronald and kissing him on the mouth! The funniest part about it is that he kept coming back for more. We kept watching him and laughing... and when he'd run by Ronald we' d be like "come on! Kiss him again..." and he always would (he couldn't see us or hear us.) It was crazy. Anyhow, it was just one of the funnier/weirder things I've seen in a while. Oh yeah, and Andrew was able to take a picture of it with my camera phone. He didn't get a picture of him actually kissing Ronald, but an even better one of him looking in our direction like he'd been caught. It was awesome.

Just re-entering my favorite blog...

One of the weirdest things my husband has ever said.

For lunch I picked up some food and met Jeremy on campus so we could eat together. Well, he got full and decided to throw part of his sandwich on the ground. I told him he shouldn't have done that and he was like "what? Birds eat chicken.... WAIT...Do birds eat chicken? That would be like people eating monkeys."

Remember when Daddy hit the referee with a whiskey bottle? Remember?

See? You gotta leave a teaser blog like that last one to keep 'em coming. It was a lie though. I mean, I'm back... but 'better than ever'? Who knows.

So, I am in Longview, Texas right now. I am visiting my friend Libbo, previously known as Libby, originally known as Olivia. Well, I don't really know if her parents ever called her Olivia. Let me ask her.

"Hey Libbo. Did your parents call you Olivia when you were a baby?"

"No."

"So you've always been Libby?"

"Yeah, ever since I popped out."

So there you have it.

Anyhow, Libbo is from Wisconsin, but she moved to Kentucky and she is visiting me and Andrea. I know it doesn't really seem like she is visiting ME since she didn't come to MY place of residence. But that's ok. I come to her. I did have to leave my husband for a couple of days. I don't mind it so much but I really wonder how he gets along without me. You see, he's not so good at FINDING things. He did say he ate corn dogs tonight, so at least he knew to look in the freezer. Attaboy, Jarmo.

So, here's my blog. WAY overdue, a bit lacking, but I did blog.

And as I dip, you dip, we dip.

I'm back and better than ever.

Stay tuned.

$10.50 at Amazon.com

I had to join the party. Check it. I'm actually prouder of my ealier works, including What Is It? and Are There Ants in Your Pants?