"There are guys in the background of Mary Worth comics that are more important than me."

Nothing says "you're a big loser" than getting your head cut out of a picture. Whoever took this picture found it very important to get Andrea's right knee and left shoe in the picture, but NOOOO, who cares about Amy's head? Not a smile, not a chin. Nothing. Just my lanky 13 year old body. Thanks a lot.

(An 11 year grudge. Nice.)

You'll have to speak up, my phone's in the toilet.

I know that it generally isn't a good idea to talk on the phone while you're in the restroom, but in my defense, I wasn't talking... I was just looking at something on my phone... while I was peeing. Not a crime. I'm sure lots of well respected people have done it before. Don't act like you haven't. (You haven't?! D'oh.) Well, I have-- and for the last time, as of yesterday (well, hopefully the last time.)

I dropped my phone into the toilet. I really wish I had photographic evidence of this for my blog, but, well, my camera phone was in the toilet. What's even more amazing than a grown adult dropping her phone in the toilet is the fact that it still works. I can barely hear it when it rings*, but it still works. You know, Samsung should really use my story as a testimonial to how durable their phones are. I have dropped that phone more times than I can count, and now it has been in the crapper, and it STILL works. Maybe Sprint could even advertise it as the "Pee CS phone." (I kill my head.)

Remember: Think twice before you ask to borrow Amy's cell phone, because you DO know where it has been.

Sorry about the grossness of this blog.

*I can now hear it completely fine when it rings.

God bless you, Yahoo.

So, Yahoo finally listened to me and changed there blasted log in page. Now it is a new face everytime. Now everytime I log into my yahoo account, it's like opening a different present.

YAHOO!!!!

This is why we can't have nice things!

I'm a klutz. I was a klutz pre-pregnancy, but now, nothing is safe.

FeverAll Suppositories:

Poor kid.

The darndest thing

Well, this morning was the first time that I have ever been able to truthfully say "there is a small person inside of my tummy-- and he's hiccuping."

Babies get hiccups inside the womb. Truly bizarre. It seems weird to me that this is possible, what, with all the fluid he's floating around in, but it is indeed true. If you don't believe me, ask my thumpin' belly.

I read something about hiccups the other day that will help all of you relax. When babies get hiccups (inside or outside of the womb), it doesn't bother them! It's not like us-- the ones taking any kind of hiccup advice we can get (stand on your head, pull your ears, wiggle your toes.) No, babies don't hate it like we do. So next time you see a baby hiccuping, follow your instinct and go "Awwwww!" (I would post a picture of a baby hiccuping, but I can't find one.)

Hiccup.

Hiccup.

Hicc..

Can't...blog...reading...

This is indeed a disturbing universe.

Hmm. Are my husand and my brother in love with each other? (Is there hand-holding going on in this picture?)

The kids can call you "HoJu"

The other day I bought this book from Target. It is very strange. There is a portion of this book called: "230 Fun lists." Some of the lists are understandable (ex. "Names that Get Shortened", "Derived from Literature", "Names Teachers Can't Pronounce" and "Names That Spawn Nasty Nicknames"), but some of these lists are just plain out there. I really wanted you guys to be included in the awesomeness that is this book, so I'm including some of the strange/hilarious lists and names. Enjoy.

(Boy, Girl, Boy or Girl)

Names for Vegetarians
Names that are SO Over (sorry, Jason)
Bad-to-the-Bone, Death Row Names: Timothy (McVeigh), Ted (Bundy)...
Nerd/Dork/Wallflower Names : Engelbert, Gomer
Patriotic Names: America, Eagle, Flag, Free, Patriot, Sailor, Salute
Names for the Handsome and Beautiful
Macho Men: Bucko, Butch, Zoom(?)
Make your Baby Popular
World's Strangest Names: Pity, Swell, Zap (ooh, Zap Butler...)
Wimpy Names: Bobo, Brownie, Fuddy
Girlie-Girl Names: Bubbles, Bunny, Cinnamon, Cookie, Princess, Sugar, Deedee ("Deedee! I told you not to touch it!!")
Famous Mob Names
Names That Make You Smile: Bitsie, Boots, Buffalo, Fluffy (hehe, Fluffy), Galaxy, Snooks, Tweetie
Future Truck Drivers: Butch, Joe-Eddy, Flo, Nerline
Future Televangelists
Future Crooked Politicians
Future Mechanics: Rusty, Chubby
Future Mortitians: Stone, Blackie, Dyer, Coffin, Morticia
Names that Make You Feel Weird: Fashion, Vixen, Bloo, Car, Sweetpea, Precious, Delete, Welcome
Scary/Creepy Names: Brick, Bruno, Butcher, Delete, Dweezil, Beatrix (Aaaauugh!!), Nunu, Swoosie
Season/Weather Names: Cloudy, Frosty, Rainbow, Equinox, Typhoon
Hyper Kids: Rambabu, Grasshopper

Small Shoulders

Jeremy and I have received about 8 outfits for the baby already, and I just realized the other day that I had nothing to hang them up with. Then I realized something: I never realized baby hangers existed. BABY HANGERS! They're just like big people hangers except... smaller. I mean, what will they think of next?

Sometimes it is really hard not to end a sentence with a preposition.

Sometimes it is easy to say "soldiers" when you mean to say "shoulders".

Sometimes it is hard not to make your blog pointless.

I think it is clear that we can expect great things from you...

I was reading "The Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" the other day (nevermind where I was,) and I came across a little fact: "Most all boys will grow to be taller than their mothers.*" I never even considered that my son would be taller than me. I mean, when I imagined him being older, I would imagine another version of Jeremy. When I told Jeremy this little fact he said "yeah, i know" real nonchalant like. I was like "um, does that bother you-- that your son might be taller than you?" He said "no! That's why I married you" (insert slanted smiley face here.)

*And yes, I know that this stat doesn't really mean anything to me since "most" husbands are taller than their wives.

Latricia's not here, man.

I received the following phone call the other day:

Telemarketer: "Hi, is Latricia there?"
Me: "This is no longer Latricia's phone number."
Telemarketer: "Can I leave her a message?"
Me: "This is not Latricia's number. I don't even know a Latricia."
Telemarketer: "OK, I'll call back later (hangs up)."
Me: "Latricia doesn't live here!! (I look at the phone wondering what has just happened.)

Thanks for listening, man.

The Butler Name Will Live On...

It is SO a boy!

"Now, let's see if we can't figure out what you are, my little friend"

Today is the big day. We shall find out more specifically what our little Jelly Bean is. We're hoping for a masculine outcome, but if it is a girl, I'll be happy too because- hey, there go all possibilities of naming her Rutler.

Note: That is absolutely the first time I've ever quoted Star Wars (except maybe for a few cleverly annoying JarJar references.) Don't blame Jeremy: blame the Star Wars Kid.

In case you were unable to load the trailer from my last post, here is a different link.

The reason I am so intense about penguins is they are so intensely cute.

Do not feel sad. It is all right. Many things cannot fly.

For many years, I have considered the duck my favorite animal. Ducks are so hilarious to me, what with the waddling and the quacking and the dabbling underwater with their feet sticking out.

However, while Jeremy and I were in Chicago last week, I discovered my new favorite animal.

Exhibit A

En Garde!

I just learned after all these years that when I thought people were saying "on guard!" they were really saying "en garde!" It's not even really that important, you know, because on guard is the English translation of en garde, and in the end they both sound the same.

It's just that I feel so disillusioned.

Oh well.

PJ? I like that! You know I do! Hiss, put it on my luggage.

I like buying men's pajama pants because all of the women's pajama pants are too short for me. The other day I found some pj pants in the guys section that really had no right being there. Cute for a girl and really gay for a boy(see gay color swatch).




I bought them because I liked them, and also because I didn't want a man buying them. Jeremy's probably getting sick of seeing these pants because currently, they are the only pants that are comfortable for me to wear with my new magical expanding stomach. I'm at the the most awkward phase of pregnancy. Not looking pregnant but not being able to fit into my clothes.

"IT STINKS!"

I've been having my first true pregnancy craving. It's really quite unfair that my first craving had to be for a smoothie that I can only get in College Station... at A&M. The next thing I know I'll be craving Dinks in Bartlesville. Mmmmm....Dinks.

D'OH!

Go away.

I'm sicking of seeing this face everytime I log into my Yahoo mail.

The trees are stripped bare of all they wear, What do I care.

Well, tickets for the Houston U2 concert in October went on sale Saturday. The concert is on the 28th, which is two weeks and three days after our baby's due date. Clearly, I cannot go. At first I didn't care. Jeremy and I are going to the Chicago concert in May, so I was pretty happy that I get to go to at least one. The thing is-- Jeremy and I have seat tickets for Chicago, but for Houston, Jeremy wanted to get floor tickets so that he could get up nice and close. Well, on Saturday, Jeremy went to stand in line at Randalls in Spring to try and get tickets, and he had me stay at home and try and get tickets online. Surprisingly enough, we were both able to get general admission tickets for the concert. Completely forgetting that I wasn't gonna get to go, I go so excited that we actually got tickets... and then I realized... oh yeah. So, Jeremy, Andrew, Trent and Jenna get to go instead. I know that by then I'll have a baby and I won't care about the concert as much, but for now I'm a little depressed. Jeremy and I were talking about it and we decided that instead of holding the whole "I was in labor for ____ hours with you!!!" over our kid's head, I will be able to hold the whole "you made me miss a U2 concert!!!" thing over his head. It will be great. Is it healthy that I'm already thinking of ways to make my kid feel guilty? Probably not, but it helps me pass the time.